Someone had to invent them. I'm no Carl Sagan, but my beliefs are batteries are pretty damn important. After the toothbrush, the greatest invention of all time gotta be the battery! It makes so many things that usually wouldn't work work! Like Gameboys, homeboys, pagers, cellphones, wallets, key chains, cars, carts, alarms, watches, mules, paintings, picture frames, spoons, spiral stairs, spiral sitar, mercantile robots, Ronald Reagan's alma matter, calculators, DVDs, CD-RW, porcupine vases, road rage, train, Toy's 'R' Us, hampers, socks, snuggies, urinals, alters, pastimes, apple pie, mousetraps, mouse pads, rain coats, RnB music, name tags, Walmart, quill pens, Jello pudding, green veggies, pants, loitering, handkerchief, castles, hemp bracelets, knee braces, retainers, remainders, percent daily value, twist caps, shutters, earphones, pancreas, tile flooring, water boarding, Monday, Chinese democracy, Sinclair Gas Stations, bald spots, IRS, fortified pillow forts, non descriptive boxes, blue tooths, blankets, carbon dating, ice cream, cubes, orange cups, cloud watching, drawing inside the lines, labels, mattress tags, washing instructions, wavelengths, parchment, Good Mornings, diminished 7th, macbooks, loose change, virtual pets, legroom, leaches, pink Bic lighters, US Census, Pope Pius, sandstone, pied piper, Indiana Jones, rescue dogs, paper airplanes, storm chasers, regulatory ordinances, pineapple sauce, flies, tree trunks, pick-up lines, car rentals, sarcasm, apathy, passive-regressive, lead based paint chips, wealth distribution, doorknobs, typerwriters, educational workshops, election judges, glasses cleaners, book bindings, Vice presidential nominees, proper punctuation, Larry David, washboards, rocks, and bananas.
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| Batteries: invented when someone was a boy. |
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