Monday, December 13, 2010

Requiem for Edward Halloween

Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
Going to college for Civil Injun ears.
I'm not the first to have a heart attack at age 10.
It's the irony of walking out into the rain.
To wish a temporary goodbye to a paraplegics missing limbs.
The vegan uses a trident for the dinner salad.
Sorry I can't eat ostrach h'orderves,
Sorry I only use bar soap,
Sorry I'm a vegan.

Boastful days for rigor mortis
energy sparks the trigger tortoise.
received email lemme forward this:

"This is to officially inform you that Visa Card has been accredited in your favor. Visa Card Value with $1 Million. You are advice to contact our affiliate courier company, this funds would be made available to you through your iKoebobo Visa card. This is iKoebobo promo foundation set up to better lot of email holders. Is promo based on electronic mail which are selected at random through computer program. Your email id attach to ticket no 88 emerged as one of 10 lucky winners of iKoebobo visa card. You big winner boy. You do great job. I so proud. I so proud. I so proud of you boy. 

Contact: Mr John Fred on behalf of Edward Halloween 
Tel:+234 8164293557 (funny it doesn't look jewish) 
We have concluded plans to deliver this card to you as soon as possible.
You are to send us the following details:
Roger Federer Mulan--DELIVERY ADDRESS:
Well i already have plenty of clothes on--HOME PHONE:
Nothing, not for sale--CELL PHONE:
They don't let us have phones in jail--COUNTRY:
Civil Injun earsSEX:
I'm not the first to have a heart attack--
I hope you understand the content of these email, We look forward to hearing from you soon. This is big important, so hurry up because we have your million dollars hanging above a pit of Vegan dog hybrids.  

Funds Remittance Department
Director Of Foreign Operations"

I press sends
to make amends 
with my new friend Edward Halloween.
I roger Federer Mulan 
entered a world not far begone. 
Halloween and Mulan 
like Frog and Toad
as the kiddies on the play yard sing their songs: 
"I walk the lonely road. 
The only road that I have ever known.
Don't know where it goes, but it's only me to me and I walk alone."
I walk alone
in my earphones.
saying the words that I have known.
Three men I don't condone.
Pull on the sweater, watch it unsewn. 
And as I ponder on the gravestone,
I read aloud what is shown.

"Here lies a man of great dignity,
an infantry of a healthy fig tree.
Died from a robber, a thief, a baron of man.
At age 73 fell asleep in the bathtub. 
Lemme put this bluntly,
Awoke with one kid knee.
No, not a kidney, the human organ participating in renal physiology.
Like an preadolescence joint that assists in walking.
He fell asleep and went into a murderous sleepwalking state
a draped in nothing but a bath robe,
welding a pizza cutter,
visiting the school yard
where the I walked alone.
Grasping my neck, 
squeezing me with his frail hands 
and with a burning passion from within!
I say,
ZOMBIE ZOMBIE! What have you God I sacrifice my body and soul, I've paid my indulgences. I've paid my time. I've paid my spirits. I worship you daily! I read scriptures and pray ever day and this is it God! This is your bidding! Zombies with pizza cutters! Damn you God! You tricky son of a bitch! You're twisted mind intertwining with insignificant individuals! You allow me to sbmit myself to you dear Lord and you repay me with a zombie pizza cutter! How dare you do this to me! For all I have done for you! You ought not have done this! You are God! You are better than this! I can't stand this situation! A zombie pizza cutter for Christ's sake! You no good pillock,
as he saws of my leg like a Tony's Pepperoni. 
I lay alone on the yard and this sick man with his sick kicks nestles my lower leg into his robe and walks alone. 
The trance like state is terminated as he reenters the tub  with my knee.
Luckily, for me, my principal received word of the incident follows the trail of my preadolescence blood back to the assisted living complex and stabs him in the chest forty times. I guess that's why they call em princi-pal!

The rain begins to mix with my tears,
covers the gravestone I wrote myself for my good friend. 
I choke back as I read the final line.
R.I.P. Edward Halloween

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